Self-checkout (aka self-flagellation)

I did something I really hate yesterday, and I did it on purpose, too. And guess what? Just like I expected, I hated it again, and vowed never to do it again.

Yesterday, I went into one of the supermarkets in town that have the self-checkout. I had only a few things to get, and it was moderately late so I could go in and be out in 10 minutes. Picking up a basket on the way in, I went off and got the few items I needed and headed up to the front. Naturally, there was a line of about five people (definitely more than three maximum that this particular store guarantees) in the single open checkout line that was staffed by a human. As an aside, why do they have 20 checkouts, but I've never seen more than 3 open? Anyway, I saw that open, empty, self-checkout lines were available and went over. I really didn't want to, but I figured it had to be better than the other times I've used it. They must have worked out the kinks, right?

So I scan item one and put it in the bag. The screen say to put the item back in the basket. This even though it rang it up. After a bit it's ready. I scan item two. It doesn't scan. I try again. It doesn't scan. And again. And again. Then it locks up stating "assistance needed." That's cleared, and I scan, item two. This time it rings up, so into the bag. Then I scan item three. Once again, assistance needed." That's cleared. So I scan item three, and in the bag it goes. item four, five, six and seven scan without problems albeit slowly as you *must* wait until it has read the price aloud before moving onto the next item. Then item eight decides to be a trouble maker. Again with the "assistance needed." That's cleared, and I'm able to scan the remaining items: nine, ten, and eleven.

Press pay, and it says please pay now, but reverts back to the scan mode. Press pay again, and the same thing happens. Third time it works. Who knows? Perhaps it waits to stars are aligned just right, or maybe it just wants to be extra, extra, extra sure that when you press the "pay now" button, you really want to pay now. After that their is a menu of about 13 choices on how you want to pay (most likely including through foreign currency transactions involving a third party). Maybe I'm just stupid, but the only ways I can think of paying are: cash, check, or credit/debit card. Do they offer the 10% down, 90 days as good as cash on one of those choices? Who can say.

By now I realized why the self-checkout were empty, the five people in the original line have already checked out and have exited the store, leaving me with struggling with the self-checkout. Apparently, they've tried to use them enough times that they've realized it actually takes far longer to go through the self-checkout than it does to stand in line.

Now, I'm sure that many of you out there like them, and to that I say hooray, but I'll let you in on a little secret. While they seem like they save you time, it's really more that they've given you something to do, which makes you feel busy during that time so you're less likely to notice that it takes a little bit longer. For example, at the regular line, I can swipe my credit card, while the items are scanned and bagged, but not at the self-checkout

Just so you don't think I'm a technophobe crank (maybe just a bit), some of the self-checkout stuff I just love. The pay-at-the-pump (although I wish they would remember my preferences, I mean, I stop at the same gas station, use the same card, inform the pump that the card has not somehow turned into a debit card and ask for a receipt, and I've done this for years. Why can't it just remember that it's a credit card and I want a receipt?) is the best invention of the 21st century and ATMs are wonderful (although, I'd really like to customize those too; again I have one standard transaction that never varies, why can't it offer: "withdraw $X, receipt, and return card just like the hundreds of times previously, or press here for something different?" I'd love to be able to go on line and set that up rather than everytime answering the same questions and waiting while it ponders my response), and I've even used the self-checkout at other stores without problems.

And if they would just fix the self-checkout at this particular store so that they worked, I'd probably come to love those, too. It's just that right now, they leave more than a bit to be desired.